I stayed up past midnight last night and after waking up at 4:30 to pee, found it difficult to get back to sleep quickly. Lot’s of shit on my brain. I’m dragging ass today due to lack of sleep.
MJ worked late tonight and didn’t get home until around 9:00-ish. Around 10:00 I told her I needed to go to bed in order to catch up on my sleep. She was asking where our LGLL questions were for the doc appointment tomorrow. Apparently she forgot if she edited the file with the questions in Google Docs or Word on the Mac. She became upset that she couldn’t find the document and asked if I had read or seen it. This line of questioning quickly escalated into a shouting match wherein she accused me of not caring about her taking the time to come up with questions and I accused her of not saving/managing her own work. I was ready for bed and after the brief shouting match, got irritated to the point I couldn’t even consider sleeping. I took a shower in Cutter insect repellent and walked out to the upper pond to relax and calm down, in the dark. No candles and the night sky was overcast. Just me in the dark. Caught up on my Words with Friends games and contemplated my navel. I decided then and there that we would have to have some ground rules, the first of which is to not discuss this issue right before bedtime so it won’t be on my brain as I lie in bed pondering the universe and my place in it. I’m fine with discovering my place in the universe but not as a rare LGLL statistic. That’s the kind of shit that creates insomnia and I’m having none of it!
Mari Jo agreed to the ground rule - well, maybe - and off to slumber-land we went, each on our own side of the bed, not touching one another. Sheesh, the emotional strains have already begun. I’d better get back into meditation soon.
About Me
- Wayne Turner
- I was born, raised and went to school in eastern NC. Too immature at 17 to comprehend the seriousness of university life, I dropped out after two years and joined the Air Force. I spent two years of my four year military career in Germany, which I enjoyed immensely. I completed my Bachelor's Degree at Guilford College in 1985. My first career was in the computer field where I did everything short of design one. I've spent the last 30 years in the environmental field working for local governments. In December 2017 I retired from full time work. My overdeveloped sense of fairness and justice lands me on the liberal side in my political views. I think government plays a large role in social responsibility in a civilized state. I believe in the innate compassion and goodness in everyone despite the daily news reports to the contrary. My genetic predisposition for generosity in nearly all things is sometimes a source of future angst. I've been a musician and still have a deep love of music. I am naturally curious about all things especially metaphysics and science.
Although we went off to slumberland on our own sides of the bed, he forgot to mention that when we awoke in the morning we were lovingly wrapped in each other's arms. I am so in love with this man - and how I wish I could carry this burden for both of us.
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