Better living through chemicals?

Pick out the real chemical molecule from this group of four.

1)  Butylpentahydroxyphenolmercuric monosilicate
2)  Methylethylketonuric acetate
3)  Epigallocatechin gallate
4)  Polyurinalporcelainic hypochlorite

Queue the Jeopardy music.

I should have been a chemist but my son Alex is playing that role admirably. In fact, he's a biochemist, twice the science wrapped up in one word. He's the real deal. I simply love stringing together prefixes, roots and suffixes of chemical words to arrive at something impossible to pronounce in one breath, implausible to imagine but possibly already synthesized in some sinister, corporate laboratory. The irony is, most of the synthetic shit made from petrochemicals is what causes many cancers in the first place; unnatural stuff masquerading as natural stuff, at the molecular level. At the human cellular level, imagine this conversation.

"Hey, that cute little molecule over there is smokin' hot! I think I'll turn on my receptors and see if we can hook up."

"Yeah, it looks like adenosine triphosphate to me and it's sure to give you a buzz."

As implied by this imagined cellular discourse, our cells can sometimes mistakenly identify something bad for something good. A slight difference in the arrangement of the chemical elements within a molecule can make the difference between natural and unnatural, good and bad. Once an unsuspecting cell has allowed a perverted molecule to attach, it's too late; the damage is done. Under a worse case scenario, the DNA within that cell gets totally bunged up, the white cells can't whack the infected cell and then it begins dividing and multiplying in a mathematical orgy. Thus begins the journey down Avenue C.

Today I visited my wellness Doc, Weston (Wiggy) Saunders, with Robinhood Integrative Health. The purpose of the visit was to discuss my recent diagnosis of LGLL and some potentially beneficial natural supplements that may help delay the onset of some of the nastier symptoms - nastier than just having a high lymphocyte count.

One of those mystery substances listed above is taken by millions of people every day for its positive health benefits. It's a substance found abundantly in green tea leaves and when concentrated has strong anti-oxidant properties. Here's one sentence from an abstract investigating its efficacy against malignancies.

Much of the cancer chemopreventive properties of green tea are mediated by EGCG that induces apoptosis and promotes cell growth arrest by altering the expression of cell cycle regulatory proteins, activating killer caspases, and suppressing oncogenic transcription factors and pluripotency maintain factors.

I underlined one phrase that relates very closely to what LGLL or any leukemia is about - apoptosis (natural cell death) and cell growth arrest (the malignant cells).

OK, time to solve the riddle. If the ridiculousness of the names of substances 1, 2 & 4 above weren't obvious, then the EGCG in the previous quote should have removed any doubt about which one is real. Yes, dear blog followers, green tea is full of epigallocatechin gallate, a catechin possessing strong anti-oxidant properties. (That's sort of double speak since a catechin, by definition, is an anti-oxidant.) It's been shown in laboratory animals, specifically the five-toed, ring-tailed Icelandic marmoset, that, taken in 5 gallon per day doses, the subject will not die of cancer.

More sublimely, there is scant published clinical evidence to support the efficacy of EGCG as a cancer prevention or treatment therapy. Apparently there is quite a bit of anecdotal evidence that causes people to drink the liquid form, found in green tea, or pop the pills of concentrated EGCG extract daily. My doc suggested today that I could take 800 - 1000 mg twice each day. Hell, it's worth a shot. I ordered some from my supplement supplier today. Maybe the next time I get blood drawn and my lymphocytes counted there will be resounding applause and acclamation at the efficacy of the polysyllabic, natural, chemical substance found in green tea leaves. Alternatively, if my lymphocyte count is through the roof, we can scatter the leaves on the floor and read what's left of my fortune.