Wednesday, June 24, 2015

To arrive at a conclusion based on a little knowledge is dangerous and can be a cause of great anxiety. This morning I told Mari Jo that itching was one of the symptoms of some of the blood disorders. What’s the connection there, I thought? I have noticed that I have been itching a lot lately, all over my body but mostly my neck and arms. Weird, unexplainable and sudden itches.

Around 10:30 this morning I did a quick internet search for why blood disorders would cause you to itch. Based on my very brief reading, it’s because the blood cancer has spread (metastasized, a much better word) to the skin. I immediately closed my browser window and thought, “Well I guess I’m totally fucked.”

The anxiety has set in and if I have a brain in my head I will a) stop playing doctor by doing limited internet searches and drawing conclusions, or b) do more extensive research so that my anxiety can be fully justified or debunked.

I promise to do some more in-depth research but right now, it’s time to devour my Subway turkey and ham sandwich, on toasted whole wheat with pepper-jack cheese, lettuce, tomato, onions, banana peppers, salt, pepper, oregano, oil and vinegar. Jeez, I’m such a creature of habit.

This afternoon I’m calmer, after doing some additional reading of the symptoms, causes and treatments of high lymphocyte counts. I’m still not very clear on what may be the underlying cause but the treatments vary from the sublime ‘watchful waiting’ to the ridiculous radiation/chemo treatments. I don’t have many risk factors other than being an older white male. Those risk factors apply to chronic lymphocytic leukemia (CLL), a condition that afflicts almost 15,000 new patients each year.